Whenever I instance my . to a . . seems to evolve the duplicate there an awful collection of porn on the net?”The problem floats toward me like a smoke round and formsa h
Sex and the Gods of Internet Marketing
Whenever I instance my engagement to a non-wired person,it seems to mature the equivalent response:”Isn’t there an fearsome mountain of porn on the net?”The query floats toward me like a smoke sphere and formsa halo around my face, framing me as a pornographer,nymphomaniac, and all-round corrupter of innocence.I expect that from my mother, but it’s not the national imageI strive to cultivate I never own a behalf warmth ready”Hmmm,” I nod coquettishly, “I’ll hold to look into that”The subtext of my vapid reply could be “Yes, the internetis a modern-day Gomorrah and I’m in it up to my quiveringloins,” or, “I really haven’t heard that, but I’m sopathetically hard-up that I’m gonna cantor amend home andlook”Neither is what I mean to convey, but the truth is probablyjust as perverse.I’ve never really looked into sex on the netI always expedient to, but I never do. I surmise I’ve always beenvery agitated about what I might find Who knows? Maybe Imyself would become corrupted – lured into the nether regionsof psycho-sexual depravity and cyber-sensual abandon.never, perhaps, to return(I quiver at the impression Several times.)Well, that superiority of monastic naivet is fine when you’rejust peddling software and minding your posses business, ring size chart, butnow that I’m prancing around like an e-marketing guru, Ino longer own the luxury of ignoring so sizeable and infamousa allocation of our venueTHE DARING SEXPLORATIONS OF LINDA COX!I keep shifted into my Lara Croft/Wonder Woman IntrepidFemale Explorer persona and I am now going to begin myConradian trip into the internet’s black interiorWish me luck Here goesOkay, I’m back Thanks for waiting. I’m prepared to reportnowYep, it seems that there IS some sexual paragraph on theinternet (Drink, please.) Rather a lot, in fact. (Makeit a double) Funny I never noticed before (Is it warmin here?) Actually, it’s amazing there’s room for anythingelse (WHERE’S THAT FREAKIN’ DRINK!?)Here’s what I learned..1. I can never don my Lara Croft/Wonder Woman alter-egoagain now that I’ve heuristic them locked together inaltsex.binarieslesbianactionheroes in a bout ofno-holes-barred lovemaking2. Acts I consider sexually harsh and taboo, many peopleconsider warm-up3. I will never use a state restroom or changing room againI bequeath never wear a skirt in federal again I will never lookat many salad ingredients the alike style again4. Certain professions should strictly enforce a much earliermandatory retirement age5. Everything is a sex toy to someone. EVERYthing.6. I found Howard Sprague’s private notebook online Goober andFloyd I always suspected, but Otis, Barney, how could you?7. Bondage is a cottage industry I’m not sure what BDSM is,but it looks pretty damn uncomfortable8. I accidentally wise how Vinnie, my pizza elocution kid,made ends meet before landing his bestow gig.9. Some things are mend left unshaven10 She-males are the damnedest entity since Mike the HeadlessChickenTHE GODS OF INTERNET MARKETINGAdult website marketers are the most in-your-face,take-no-prisoners, knock-down drag-out rock ‘n sway marketerson earth. If I could sell software the routine they vend sex, I’dbe living on my posses island.IN PRAISE OF CENSORSHIPFrankly, I very much oppose adult issue on the internet Ithink it should be legislated out of existence Here’s why:Sex is the flame in the intestines of civilization. If we allow itto become so commonplace that everyone gives up the hot andfrenzied objective of it, then humanity consign reasonable go sit on thecouch and guard pro wrestling And then where entrust we be?Sitting on the couch watching pro wrestling, that’s where!